Looking Back

Earlier today my wife said “Our last full day in Chautauqua County”.  I hadn’t thought of it in those terms but it’s true.  After 30 years we are moving on.  A lot has changed in three decades.

There are the obvious things.  30 years of living with its attendant gray hair and lines.  I’m a little slower than I used to be as well.  Three decades ago I wasn’t a father.  So that’s a positive change, one I would never trade for anything.  All the experiences, all the people, all the opportunities, those taken and those passed by, are all part of that time period as well.

As I thought about it I realized there were other changes that came my way as well.  I am more patient, MUCH more patient, than that younger me.  I’m gentler than I used to be, more inclined to find the gentle solution than I was before.  The younger me was “full frontal assault” as a former boss once put it.  Today I am still inclined to take things on directly.  But now I’m inclined to knock at the front door first, just to see if we can work something out.

I think I’m a little wiser.  I think I’m a little deeper.  I hope I’m a bit more caring.  I know I appreciate every minute of life more than I did.

I still like that younger version of me.  He was passionate and willing to fight for his beliefs.  But I think this new me is better.  Still passionate, still willing to fight but only when calmer solutions don’t work.

It’s been a good 30 years.

But now it’s time to move on.