All The Wrong (Science) Stuff

 Getting It All Wrong Turns Out To Be Just Right

Armageddon (1998) – An asteroid threatens worldwide extinction with only eighteen days to find a solution.  An oil drilling team of misfits gets the call to be the heroes  All they have to do is overcome the training, the spaceflight, using equipment that’s never been adequately tested, and their own personality quirks to make it happen.

Directed by Michael Bay

Starring – Bruce Willis, Billy Bob Thornton, Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck, Steve Buscemi, Owen Wilson

Why I Liked It – Bang, Zoom, Boom fun.

I have a category for movies like Armageddon – “Check Your Brain At The Door” movies.  If accurate science is important to your enjoyment of science fiction movies, this is one to avoid.  You will spend the entire movie shouting “That’s not how that works!” at the screen.  In the opening voiceover sequence, it says the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs blocked the sun for two thousand years.  How ANY form of life survived that is beyond even my limited science knowledge (the current science says it was TWO years).  And it just gets worse from there.  The amount of schedule change, equipment preparation, training, redesigning, and manufacturing that has to be done while still leaving time to actually get out beyond the moon and intercept this planet killer strikes me as unbelievable at best.  That’s before we even consider whether the solution offered would work.  (Spoiler – the experts agree it would NOT)

And nothing I wrote in that paragraph matters one bit.

Because this is the classic Check Your Brain movie.  I don’t care if the science is correct or, well, fiction.  This was a summer blockbuster movie, intended to attract huge audiences.  It wound up as the number two grossing movie of 1998, with only “Titanic” beating it out.  It’s everything we’ve come to expect from a movie directed by Michael Bay.  It’s epic in proportion, it’s loud, bombastic and stuff tends to blow up.  Add in a solid cast and it’s rip-roaring, let’s go save the world fun.

Give your brain the afternoon off.

This is another movie that is part of my personal collection that I’ve never reviewed before.  The fact that it has a permanent place on my shelf should tell you what I really think of this movie.  The cast goes three or four levels deep with big-name stars and outstanding character actors.  Set in the middle of a glittering Bay production and you’re off and running.  Ignore the illogic, the unlikely scenarios, and the bad science.  Root for the Tyler/Affleck love story, laugh at the antics of the crew, and cheer for Bruce Willis as the saver of pretty much everything.  

Summer blockbusters are designed to give us a thrill as we sit in the cool confines of the movie theater (or wherever in 2023).  It’s popcorn munching, getting a little rowdy, and walking out with a big smile on your face fun.  

Armageddon is all of that.

So enjoy.

Rating – **** Recommended