YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS MOVIE!

Please don’t tell me this. Because it always turns out badly.

Red Dawn (1984) – In an alternate history, a group of teenagers retreats into the mountains to resist a Soviet invasion of the United States. They become the front lines of World War III as they do their best to defend their town.

Directed by John Milius

Starring Patrick Swayze, C. Thomas Howell, Lea Thompson, Charlie Sheen, Jennifer Grey

Why I Liked It – Fun to watch three actors at an early age. (Yes, I’m reaching here)

This iconic movie is one that always generated an incredulous response of, “How have you not seen this movie? You have to watch this movie!” It hit the early Eighties zeitgeist in what turned out to be the final decade of the Cold War. American kids fighting back against the Soviet invaders. For teenagers of the time, it was an amazing hero moment.

Viewed forty-plus years later, what sticks out is how absurd the entire premise of the movie is. The Soviets land paratroops in a small town in Colorado. We’re talking the middle of nowhere, with zero strategic importance. Their first action is machine-gunning the local school. Led by a veteran Cuban officer whose career centered on fighting invading forces, the Soviets never seem to have any plan once they take over the town. Meanwhile, the band of high school students flee into the mountains with a few shotguns and rifles. And proceed to give the invaders repeated headaches. These untrained, frightened kids take on trained professional troops led by a competent officer, and the soldiers get the short end of the stick, over and over again.

I’ll give the scriptwriters this much: the teens are not in superhero mode when they first gather in the mountains. They’re not sure what is really going on. There’s a lot of concern for their family and friends. The Cuban officer would know instantly the value of local heroes hiding in the hills. The logical thing to do is to end the threat by sending a small force of soldiers into the mountains with the single goal of eliminating that threat. It never really happens. The kids grow more confident and gain support from the townsfolk, while the Soviet forces just muddle around.

The plot is illogical, the dialogue is terrible, and even the combat scenes are ridiculous. There is some fun to be had in watching a cast of young actors about to become stars. They’re ok here, but they don’t have the acting chops to take this lame script to a different level. What results is a room-temperature intelligence, minor-league action movie with a side of flag-waving. If you have a couple hours to waste, go for it. Otherwise, there are so many better movies out there.

Yeah, I’m aware this may upset some folks.

Rating – ** Two Stars – Not Impressed.