Just Die Already!

 Quintet (1979) – In a future society trapped in an ice age, the people of Earth distract themselves with the game “Quintet”.  For an elite few the game is played for higher stakes, life or death.

Directed by Robert Altman                Starring – Paul Newman, Fernando Rey, Bibi Andersson

Why I Liked It – Yeah, still working on this…

I had plenty of reasons to think I’d like this movie.  I like Altman’s work overall, I’m a huge Newman fan, and the movie was filmed in the remaining buildings of Montreal’s Expo ’67 World’s Fair.  My family went to the World’s Fair and I carry a few indelible memories of that city.  So it ought to be OK, right?

Oh, so not right.

It turns out there are a lot of things going against this movie.  Neither Altman or Newman had much, if any, experience in a science fiction film.  The movie received “Adults Only” ratings in a range of countries because of the violence.  What ended up on the screen was a box office flop, and cost 20th Century Fox’s head of production his job.

The movie is every inch that bad.  Not “The Room” or “Plan 9 From Outer Space” bad, but a total failure without any redeeming values.  Newman looks bewildered beyond his character’s confusion, the all European supporting cast seems amused by how they’re earning a payday, and Altman doesn’t give much of an idea of what his idea was.  This was his third flop in a row I try to come up with something that I found interesting about “Quintet”, and I’m stumped. This is the kind of movie where I end up sighing a lot, and looking at my phone, and letting it run while I run out to the kitchen for a snack.  It’s not visually interesting, the story/plot don’t draw you in, the actor’s performances range from adequate to obligatory.

I wanted to like this movie, I really did.

I really don’t.

“Quintet” avoids the rare and feared “No Star” rating only because it’s not actively offensive.  It’s not actively much of anything.

Rating – * Not Worth Your Time

(I keep forgetting how bad ’70s film trailers can be.  

Even the studio couldn’t find anything interesting in this movie to put in the trailer!)