This Bird Don’t Fly

Ladyhawke (1985) – A beautiful young woman and a valiant soldier fall in love against the wishes of a powerful bishop, who places a curse on them. One that will keep them from ever being with one another again. But a young pickpocket facing execution might be the factor that can lift the curse and... Continue Reading →

Great Cast, Crap Movie

 What A Waste Event Horizon (1997) – Seven years ago, the spaceship “Event Horizon” with an experimental new drive, disappeared. It has reappeared near Neptune, and the “Lewis and Clark” goes to find out what happened. The missing vessel has many mysteries to reveal. Directed by Paul Anderson Starring Laurence Fishburne, Sam Neill, Joely Richardson,... Continue Reading →

NOT Too Good To Fail

 Sometimes Talent Isn’t EnoughHarlem Nights (1989) – In the New York City of the Depression Era, two nightclub owners battle the competition, the police and gangsters to keep their doors open.Directed by Eddie MurphyStarring Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx, Danny Aiello, Della ReeseWhy I Liked It –Other than a moment here or there, I... Continue Reading →

Santa Sci-Fi!

 Something Delightfully Dumb For Christmas!Santa Conquers The Martians (1964) - Mars decides their children need Santa!  So the come to Earth to kidnap him!  Directed by Nicholas WebsterStarring - John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Pia Zadora (movie debut)Why I Liked It - Some trashy, campy, low budget Christmas fun!Let's get the low hanging fruit out... Continue Reading →

The Bikini That Almost Saved Christmas

 Except Nothing Can Save ThisChristmas With the Kranks (2004) – When Luther (Allen) and Norah (Curtis) Krank discover they will be empty nesters at Christmas for the first time, Luther suggests just skipping the entire Christmas season. This results in a major conflict with his neighbors.Directed by Joe RothStarring Tim Allen, Jamie Lee Curtis, Dan... Continue Reading →

The Lady Seems Upset

 Just Do Whatever the Very Tall, Very Angry Lady WantsAttack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958) - Nancy Archer has had a bad couple of days.  Her cheating husband is fooling around with another woman, aliens in a UFO assaulted her and someone tried to kill her!  The result is a sudden spurt in her... Continue Reading →

A Giant Mess

Failure at a Giant ScaleThey Might Be Giants (1971) - A retired judge believes that he is Sherlock Holmes.  When a relative, in pursuit of the judge's estate, tries to have him committed a new Dr. Watson enters the story.  Together they face several mysteries they must try to resolve.Directed by Anthony HarveyStarring George C.... Continue Reading →

Don't Make A Split Second Mistake

 You'll Pay For It With Almost Two Hours Of Your Life!Split Second (1992) - In a dystopian near-future, a London detective hunts for his partner's killer.  After years without a clue, the killer has returned, leaving slaughter behind. Will he be the hunter or the hunted?Directed by Tony MaylamStarring Rutger Hauer, Kim CattrallWhy I Like... Continue Reading →

A Madman Not Worth Pursuing

 A Time Traveling Waste of TimeTime After Time (1979) Jack the Ripper escapes from Victorian London to San Francisco in the 1970s by way of H.G. Wells' time machine.  Wells pursues the killer to stop his killing rampage.Better than the movieDirected by Nicholas MyersStarring Malcolm McDowell, Mary Steenbergen, David WarnerWhy I Liked It – David... Continue Reading →

Hold My Beer of Awfulness

 Party Crashers From Outer Space! Llamageddon (2015) - A killer llama from outer space crash lands on Earth and begins raining havoc on a group of unsuspecting college partiers. Directed by Howie Dewin (yes, that's the credit)Starring (?) - Louis the Llama, Dany Ambassa, Pinki Brainweis Why I Liked (?) It - Super low budget scream... Continue Reading →

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