Santa Sci-Fi!

 Something Delightfully Dumb For Christmas!

Santa Conquers The Martians (1964) – Mars decides their children need Santa!  So the come to Earth to kidnap him!  

Directed by Nicholas Webster

Starring – John Call, Leonard Hicks, Vincent Beck, Pia Zadora (movie debut)

Why I Liked It – Some trashy, campy, low budget Christmas fun!

Let’s get the low hanging fruit out of the way.  This is a TERRIBLE movie.  I mean, really, truly BAD.  The script is awful, the sets are worse.  The robot looks like a Halloween costume built by a 4th grader.  My favorite part is the “Radar Box”.  Inside this box are the instruments of the Martian’s radar cloaking device that hides them from Earth’s equipment.  You know it’s the Radar Box because those words are stenciled on the side of the box.  A box that is big enough to hide a full grown Martian/Human (or two small human children).  Apparently, all that high tech equipment takes up very little space in the very large box!

The costumes aren’t any better.  Martian fashions lean heavily on superhero style capes.  Oh, and flexible gas pipe, like used for an oven or water heater, attached to their helmets.  Which have antennae.  For no apparent reason.

But there’s something charming here.  It took me a while to figure out but here’s my theory.  The actors are, in fact, actors.  Professional stage actors who had worked on Broadway shows prior to the four day shoot.  Yes, this movie was shot entirely in four days.  The cast has a solid concept to work with (Mars needs Santa) and that’s usually enough for any even modestly talented actor.  They can’t sell everything, but they are committed to the roles and that makes the movie bearable.

If I based my rating strictly on the movie making aspects (script, sets, direction), this would get a one or two.  But with the saving grace of minimal acting, and not much beyond that low bar, I’ll squeeze it up to a very low three.  If you decide to add this to your movie schedule this year, go in with an open mind and a willingness to play along with the silliness.

You can stream the movie for free on YouTube, Tubi, Pluto TV, Sling TV, Vudu, and Plex.

Rating *** Worth A Look (But Only Just Barely)