Life Among the Underemployed – Milestone?

(These posts will appear when there is something to report)

I am comfortably in excess of 400 days without full-time employment.

And that sucks.

In the course of that time I have been:

• Sad
• Angry
• Depressed
• Inspired
• Hopeful
• Defeated
• Tired
• Scared
• Scared
• Scared

I hate writing these damn posts.  I hate that I have anything to add to this series.  I hate that I feel like I am not pulling my weight in my family.  Everyone else has steady, full-time jobs.  I’ve applied for over 150 job openings.  In as many different industries as I can think I might qualify.  I’ve gotten two interviews.  I didn’t get the nod at one and did at the other.  I tried the work with Aflac (great company and products) but the work just wasn’t for me.  It made me dread getting up and going to work each day.  Nausea, anxiety, you name it.  So I told them that it just wasn’t working out.

As it turns out, looking for a full-time job is almost a full-time job in and of itself.  Which is hard when you are trying to staunch the bleeding from our financial reserves doing multiple part-time jobs.  There’s never enough time and that adds to the stress.

I don’t know what to do.  I know that I can’t quit.  Quitting sounds really inviting some days.  Roll up into a ball and quit.  Pull the blankets over my head and quit.  Dive to the bottom of a bottle and quit.

Just effing quit.

But that’s not who I am.

Maybe things will change before I hit 500, or 200, or 600, or 300…

So I will keep my head up, my eyes open, my heart strong.

Waiting to see the next chapter in my life.

Whatever it turns out to be.

And I’ll keep you up to date on how that goes.

Peace.